Shaquille O’Neal on why he ignored mother’s plea to reconcile with his biological father: “I was upset because you put people in my business”

Shaq took offense to his biological father going public to ask for his forgiveness.

For most of his life, Shaquille O’Neal had viewed one man as his father — Phillip Harrison, a former U.S. Army drill sergeant who married Lucille O’Neal when her son was three. Under Harrison’s strict but loving guidance, Shaquille developed the discipline that would later define his career, both on and off the court.

But there was another man in the picture, Joseph Toney, O’Neal’s biological father. Unlike Harrison, Toney was absent from his son’s life.

Shaq’s reaction

In 1994, O’Neal was at the (first) peak of his early career. At just 22 and the star of the upstart Orlando Magic, he was already an All-Star. But then, something unexpected happened. Toney appeared on a TV show, pleading for a second chance to be part of his son’s life. This didn’t sit well with Shaquille.

“I was upset because you put people in my business,” the Hall of Famer said. “This was a family secret.”

Drug addiction and a run-in with the law over a check forgery operation landed Toney behind bars. By the time O’Neal was old enough to understand, Harrison had already filled the paternal void. The dominant center never questioned it — he had a father and it wasn’t Toney.

The attempt at reconciliation wasn’t what Toney had hoped for. Instead of opening the door, it only reinforced the wall O’Neal had built between them. He wasn’t looking for a father figure; he already had one in Harrison.

After the latter passed away in 2013, Lucille encouraged her son to reconsider his stance and make peace with his biological father.

Shaq listened. He didn’t hold resentment but didn’t feel the need to rewrite history. The two eventually spoke, but the relationship remained distant.

Respectable relationship

By the time he was confronting his history with his father, O’Neal was already dealing with the consequences of his own personal choices. His high-profile marriage to Shaunie O’Neal ended in 2011, largely due to his infidelity.

“It’s a very respectable relationship,” Shaquille said of his biological father. “He lost his family by doing what he did. I did the same [expletive]. His was drugs and mine was all your other crazy superstar stuff. I was at that point to where I’m not going to be a hypocrite. ‘Oh, you’re the deadbeat dad,’ when I just did the same thing. Six kids. Gone. Gone. So I told him, ‘Man, I don’t hate you. We don’t need to talk about it. I know the story. I don’t care.’ And we talk every now and then. He’s good.”

The NBA star wasn’t going to be a judge of character and stand in judgment of Toney when he himself had made mistakes that cost him dearly. He saw their stories as different yet similar — two men who had lost important relationships due to their own actions.

He didn’t reconcile with Toney in the way his mother had hoped. But he made peace with the situation on his own terms. And for the four-time NBA champion, that was enough.