Breaking News: Jimmy Kimmel Suspended!
This morning brought a shocking twist! My phone blew up with hundreds of messages from my dad saying, “I’m sorry they canceled your show.” But hold on, that’s not me—it’s Jimmy Kimmel! President Trump promised to end government censorship, but the reality is quite the opposite. People across the country are reeling from this blatant attack on freedom of speech.
Late Night Hosts Unite in Reaction!
[Applause] Late-night hosts reacted fiercely on Thursday to ABC’s indefinite suspension of Jimmy Kimmel Live following his comments about Charlie Kirk’s murder and pressure from Trump’s FCC. Many voices disagree, but under an autocrat, giving an inch can be dangerous.
And if ABC thinks this will satisfy the regime, they are sorely mistaken. Clearly, they’ve never read the children’s book If You Give a Mouse a Kimmel. Stephen Colbert took the opportunity to roast both the administration and the network, just two months after his own show was canceled by CBS, and just days after his team won an Emmy for Outstanding Talk Series.
Support for Jimmy Kimmel!
To Jimmy, I say: I stand with you and your staff 100%. And really, could you not let me enjoy this for just one week? The Daily Show brought in Jon Stewart for a special episode, where he spent nearly 25 straight minutes mocking the Commander-in-Chief, who recently wrapped up a state visit with the royals.
If you’ve felt a bit off these past few days, it’s probably because our great leader has been away, gracing England with his legendary warmth and radiance. The focus is now on the First Amendment. There’s a very reasonable explanation for what happened to this rogue: Jimmy Kimmel simply lacks talent.
You may call it free speech in jolly old England, but in America, there’s something called a talent ometer kept on the president’s desk. It tells the president when a performer’s TQ (Talent Quotient), mostly measured by how nice they are to him, drops below a certain level, at which point the FCC must be notified.
A Call for Unity!
Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon took a more direct approach after Trump suggested they should be canceled next. Meyers stated, “It is a privilege and an honor to call Jimmy Kimmel my friend, just as it’s a privilege to do this show every night.” He added, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I know Jimmy Kimmel is a decent, funny, loving guy, and I hope he comes back.”
Every day, I count my blessings to live in a country that at least pretends to value freedom of speech, and we will continue our show with enthusiasm and integrity. Kimmel has been asked to apologize but has remained silent, reportedly exploring his legal options regarding his network contract, which ends next year.
What’s Next for Late Night?
Do you think he’ll return? It’s hard to imagine Kimmel back on ABC at this point. Are the critics right? Is Trump stifling free speech? Of course not, John. Americans are free to express any opinion we want. To suggest otherwise is laughable.
Is this the end of late night? Perhaps it’s the end of an era. With CBS canceling Stephen Colbert’s show and now Kimmel’s uncertain fate, plus intense pressure on NBC with Trump wanting Fallon’s show canceled next, we may see whatever energy is left in late night shifting to streaming and cable platforms that aren’t regulated by the government.
