MY PASTOR DID THIS TO ME BECAUSE I WANTED TOO😱…..

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Pauline’s Silence

Pauline had always believed her mother would protect her from anything. As a child, she’d curled up in Deborah’s lap during thunderstorms, trusting her mother’s arms to keep her safe. But now, at sixteen, the world was no longer safe, and her mother’s arms felt impossibly far away.

The morning sun streamed through the tiny window of their two-bedroom apartment, throwing golden streaks across the worn wooden floor. Pauline sat on her bed, her knees drawn to her chest, staring at the faded cover of a novel she’d read too many times. In the kitchen, Deborah hummed a church hymn as she fried plantains, the smell filling the apartment with a sweetness that made Pauline’s stomach twist.

“Pauline, have you finished praying this morning?” Deborah called.

Pauline hesitated, then replied, “Yes, Mama.”

“Did you pray well? Did you ask God for favor over your visa application?”

“Yes, Mama,” Pauline answered, knowing what would come next.

Deborah appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on her wrapper, her face set in a deep frown. “No matter how much you pray, it won’t be as effective as when Pastor Abel prays for you. That man carries power. Do you know how many people have received miracles just by kneeling before him?”

Pauline clenched her fists. “Mama, I believe in praying to God myself. God hears me.”

“Ah, don’t start again, Pauline. You’re too stubborn. Pastor Abel is not just any man. He is Daddy See All. If he prays for you, your visa will come out faster. But if you rely on your childish prayers—who knows what might happen?”

Pauline bit her lip, wanting to argue, but she knew it was useless. Her mother’s faith in Pastor Abel was unshakeable.

“Get dressed,” Deborah ordered. “We’re going to church this evening. You will see him and tell him about your visa application. He will pray for you, and you will get it.”

Pauline’s heart sank. “Mama, I don’t want to.”

“Enough!” Deborah’s voice was sharp. “Get dressed before I get angry.”

Pauline knew there was no escape. Defying her mother meant endless scolding, and she had no energy for that. She picked out a simple dress and dressed in silence, her stomach churning with dread.

That evening, the church was filled with women chatting about their testimonies—miraculous healings, financial breakthroughs, prophecies. Pauline kept quiet, watching them with distant eyes. She’d grown up in this church, but she never felt the excitement her mother did.

Deborah gripped her hand tightly as they approached Pastor Abel’s office. It was a small room at the back of the church, decorated with a large portrait of Pastor Abel in a white suit, smiling like a king. A woman in a blue wrapper stepped out, tears streaming down her face. “Daddy See All has spoken. My problems are over!” she cried, falling to her knees before leaving.

“You see?” Deborah whispered. “This is why I tell you not to joke with a man of God.”

Pauline rolled her eyes but said nothing.

“Next,” called a deep voice from inside.

Deborah pulled Pauline into the office. Pastor Abel sat behind his desk, his hands resting on an open Bible. He was tall, dark-skinned, with a neatly trimmed beard and a long robe that shimmered under the dim light.

“Good evening, Daddy See All,” Deborah greeted, bowing slightly.

Pauline simply nodded. Pastor Abel’s piercing eyes studied her. “Welcome, my daughter. What brings you here?”

Deborah spoke before Pauline could. “Daddy See All, my daughter has applied for a visa to Canada to continue her studies. I know if you pray for her, she will get it quickly.”

Pastor Abel smiled. “The Lord has a great plan for this child.” He turned to Pauline. “My daughter, do you believe that God can use me to open doors for you?”

Pauline felt her mother’s gaze and muttered, “Yes, sir.”

“Good,” he said. He stood, placed his hand on her forehead, and began to pray, his fingers lingering too long on her skin. Pauline kept her eyes shut, feeling a wave of discomfort.

After a few minutes, he stepped back. “The Lord has heard our prayers, but there is something more.”

Deborah’s eyes widened. “What is it, Daddy See All?”

“Pauline needs to come back for private prayers. The spirit has revealed she must undergo a special deliverance session for her visa to be approved. She must come alone.”

Pauline’s eyes snapped open. “Private prayers?”

“Yes,” Pastor Abel said, smiling. “Some blessings require deeper spiritual work. She must come alone. No distractions.”

Pauline’s stomach twisted. Everything about this felt wrong.

“She will come,” Deborah said quickly. “She will come, Daddy See All.”

Pauline turned to her mother in disbelief. “Mama—”

Deborah ignored her and smiled at the pastor. “Thank you, Daddy See All. You are truly a man of God.”

“Go in peace, my daughter. Bring her tomorrow evening.”

Pauline’s heart pounded as her mother dragged her out. “You see how God works,” Deborah said. “Your life is about to change.”

Pauline didn’t answer. All she felt was fear.

The next day, Pauline avoided her mother as much as possible, but when evening came, Deborah stormed into her room. “Pauline, why are you not dressed?”

“Mama, I don’t want to go back,” Pauline said firmly. “I don’t feel comfortable with those private prayers.”

Deborah’s face darkened. “Don’t be ungrateful. Do you know how many people wish to have Daddy See All pray for them? You will go today and that’s final.”

Tears welled in Pauline’s eyes. “Mama, please listen to me. I can pray for myself. I don’t need him.”

Deborah grabbed her wrist. “You are too stubborn. I am your mother and I know what’s best for you. Now get up.”

Pauline yanked her hand away. “Mama, why do you trust him so much? What if—”

A sharp slap cut her off. Deborah’s eyes burned with anger. “You will not insult a man of God in my house. Get dressed before I drag you there myself.”

Tears streamed down Pauline’s face. But she knew there was no escape.

That night, in Pastor Abel’s office, the air was thick with dread. Pastor Abel leaned in close, his hand resting on her shoulder, his voice a dangerous whisper. “Some prayers require deeper sacrifices, my child. If you want your visa, you must obey instructions.”

Pauline’s heart pounded. “What kind of instructions, sir?”

He smiled. “Shh. Just trust me.” Before she could react, he pressed his lips against her cheek. Pauline jerked away, her chair scraping the floor.

“What are you doing?” she gasped.

“Sit down,” he ordered, his voice cold. “You think you can walk out of here and say something? Who will believe you? Me, the great Daddy See All? Even your own mother would call you a liar.”

Pauline’s breath came in short gasps. “I don’t care. I’m leaving.”

He grabbed her wrist and yanked her back. “You will not disobey me,” he hissed.

Tears filled Pauline’s eyes as she realized no one was coming to save her.

She stumbled out of the office, her legs shaking, the weight of his touch burning on her skin. She walked home in a daze, her body aching, her soul shattered.

At home, Deborah saw her swollen eyes. “Pauline, why are you crying?”

Pauline froze. She wanted to scream, to make her mother understand, but fear choked her words.

“Mama, I don’t want to go back to see Pastor Abel,” she whispered.

“And why not?”

Pauline’s voice shook. “He… he touched me. He did things to me, Mama. Bad things. I don’t want to go back.”

For a moment, Deborah was silent. Pauline held her breath, hoping her mother would believe her. But then Deborah scoffed. “Don’t start this nonsense. Daddy See All is a man of God. Do you think he would risk his anointing for something like that? You’re lying.”

“Mama, I’m not lying,” Pauline pleaded.

“Enough, Pauline. I don’t want to hear any more of this rubbish. You will keep going. The fact that you’re fighting it means the devil is trying to stop your breakthrough.”

Pauline turned away, retreating to her room, pressing her palm over her mouth to stifle her sobs.

For weeks, the nightmare continued. Pastor Abel traveled for a while, and Pauline finally knew peace. But the nightmares remained. One afternoon, as she scrubbed the floor, a wave of dizziness overtook her and she fainted.

When she awoke, her mother and their neighbor, Mama Adah, hovered over her.

“My sister,” Mama Adah said, “have you noticed anything strange about this girl lately? She looks pale. Maybe she’s pregnant?”

“God forbid,” Deborah snapped, but she bought a pregnancy test anyway.

Pauline’s hands trembled as she took the test. Deep down, she already knew the answer.

When the result was positive, Deborah’s face twisted with rage. “Who is responsible for this?”

Pauline wept. “Pastor Abel did this to me.”

The slap came fast. “How dare you lie against a man of God?”

“I am not lying, Mama. I have been trying to tell you. He forced himself on me. You never listened.”

“You trust your pastor more than your own daughter,” Pauline said, her voice breaking. “You handed me over to a monster. Now I have to live with the consequence.”

Deborah’s face contorted with disbelief. She wanted to deny it, but something inside her cracked. She thought of the other girls, the special interest Pastor Abel took in them, the things she’d ignored.

Now, her own daughter stood before her, broken, pregnant, begging her to see the truth.

Deborah sank onto the bed, her mind spinning. Had she failed her daughter?

Pauline sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the ceiling, the pain unbearable. She was alone. No one would believe her. And worst of all, it wasn’t over. The next time Pastor Abel called for her, her mother would make sure she went back.

But deep inside, a spark of courage flickered. Pauline would not be silent forever. One day, she would find her voice.

And when she did, the world would finally hear her story.

End.